10 Signs Your Friends Are “Enemies Of Progress”

 

Below are the signs that your friends are enemies of progress.

1. They give flimsy excuses when you are in need

A clear sign that your friends are enemies progress is that, it’s either they give flimsy excuses or act busy just to avoid helping you out of an ugly situation. These are people who will keep to themselves any vital information that will make you become a better person. When they perceive you need financial help to embark on a project that will make you become a great person, they will never help you out even if they have all you need. Take for example, when they are in school and you’re at home, they won’t tell you when registration will close, or when a test is holding, they can’t write attendance for you in your absence. When you eventually fail, they will sympathize with but will jubilate your misfortune at your back.

2. They become jealous of your Success/Achievements

Every bad friend presents himself as a kind and caring person. But it’s all just an act to look good even though they are unintentional masters in the art of deception. These are the same people who eat, laugh and even sleep together with you but St@byou in the back if you work in the same place and the boss happens to appreciate your work over theirs. This is one of the clear signs that your friends are enemies of progress.

3. They attempt to snatch your Boyfriend/Girlfriend

I know some of us have that very friend who has once attempted to snatch your partner from you out of jealousy coupled with stupidity. We have heard ridiculous stories of friends who successfully snatched their friend’s partner while we have also heard stories of who R@ped their friends’ girlfriends. When they see your partner is the kind of person they’ve always wished for, they go behind your back to say bad things about you just to discredit and discourage him/her from dating you. When you notice your friend flirts unnecessary with your partner, it’s better to put an end to such a friendship, because, such people are your “enemies” under the guise of “friends”

4. They always want you beneath them

When we were kids, there was that self centered friend who always wanted to use other people’s toys without returning it, and ousted other kids from the group if they refused his every beck and call. And now during our adult life too, things aren’t very different. There are also people you call your friends who will always want you beneath them.

5. They don’t appreciate good things

They always have negative perceptions towards almost everything. When they see people buy new cars, it’s either they say that person is into shady business or he duped people to buy car. When you travel abroad in search of greener pastures, they will start gossiping about you telling everybody that it’s not everybody that travels abroad that will make it. Many will agree with Tosyne2much that when you keep company of friends who don’t appreciate good things, be rest assure that they will never wish you well too if you also excel

6. They intimate/frustrate you when rich

I’ve had childhood friends that have spanned the entire course of my lifetime who later snubbed and ignored me the moment they were privileged to secure jobs or gain admission into tertiary institutions before me. Most friends who act this way despite being good to them were never your friends in the first place, they were just mere talk mates. Since they don’t want you to surpass them in life, they neglect you and mock you the very moment they have something to boast about. When circumstances push your to work under them, they talk to you anyhow and turn you to an errand boy

7. They are usually stingy people

Another sign that your friends are enemkes of progress is that they are intentionally stingy when it comes to lending you money to embark on a project that will make you become a better person and this is due to the fact that they don’t want you to surpass them. They prefer to spend their money on slay queens or beer rather than lending you. Just when you have that friend who has money and refuses to borrow you for no good reason, be rest assured that he doesn’t wish you well

8. They mobilize people against you and pretend to support you

Some of can be jealous of your riches and wealth to the extent that they will send 419 to dupe you while some will go as far as seeking solace in hired killers. This is why it’s extremely dangerous to keep giving people the impression that money is never your problem

9. They don’t show up during your celebration

Don’t get wrong because I’m not trying to say that any friend that doesn’t show up during your celebration is an enemy of progress. All I’m trying to say is that, some don’t even you well to the point that they will never show up during your house warming, wedding or naming even though they are very much available. They will ways give unending excuses to justify their absence

10. They always want you to worship them

An enemy of progress can either richer or poorer than you but it’s only worse if you’re richer than him. The ones that are richer than you will always want you to accord them with high level of respect because they feel you can never attain their height.
These are always people who are fond of requesting for the gift they buy for you after a serious argument or controversial discussion.

Please let’s be mindful of the kinds of people who call our friends. Some of them are nothing but enemies under the guise of friends and can anything to bring you down

I hope this article makes sense

Feel free to add yours

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Here Are 5 Things You Do You Didn’t Know Were Considered Cheat!ng

Where is the line drawn between a loyal relationship and a Cheat!ng relationship? Is it from the moment an unfaithful thought crosses your mind or when physical bounds have been broken? Experts reveal what is really considered Cheat!ng:

1. Fantasizing about someone else

It’s natural to think someone is attractive. However, fantasizing about someone else could be more dangerous for your marriage.

One expert warns that fantasies could be a form of infidelity. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., says these fantasies could come in the form of Facebook stalking or daydreaming about someone else. She questions whether these thoughts are signs of Cheat!ng or simply innocent mental escapades.

To find out, she suggests talking with your partner about what those fantasies might represent.

“If you’re constantly fantasizing about the same person, what qualities does that other individual have that you feel your partner lacks?” Whitbourne asked. “By allowing yourself to explore your fantasies instead of fighting them off, you may gain insights that you can share with your partner.”

2. Forming a strong emotional connection with someone you’re attracted to

It’s considered Cheat!ng even if you haven’t broken physical boundaries. You can’t take a bite of the cake and say you didn’t eat it. You say you’re just friends and nothing more, but if you’re reaching out to them to fill a void in your relationship and sharing private things you should only share with your spouse, this is more than just an innocent friendship – it’s emotional infidelity.

“The sad reality is that emotional infidelity is often totally hidden to the extent that you may not know if and when your partner is emotionally Cheat!ng,” said Seth Meyers, Psy.D. “The best indicator is to consider the character of your partner and to ask yourself how much you truly trust his or her integrity.”

Ask yourself how loyal your spouse is to their family, friends, job, and most importantly, to you. Trust your gut when you have suspicions that your spouse might be Cheat!ng and always talk to your partner first before jumping to conclusions.

Know the signs of an emotional affair. Experts say a spouse might spend hours chatting online or talking on the phone to someone they’re attracted to. They might even confide in them about their fading emotional attachment to their partner, rather than talking to their spouse about it. Other signs include: sharing personal stories with another person, looking forward to being with them, changing their routine and spending a lot of time together.

3. Flirting with someone other than your spouse

Some people think flirting is obviously Cheat!ng, but others don’t see anything wrong with a little friendly talk. About 59 percent of women and 42 percent of men in one survey said sending flirty messages to someone other than your partner is considered Cheat!ng. The boundary between being friendly and flirtatious is a thin but solid line you should never cross when you’re in a committed relationship.

There are different motivations for flirting including to compliment someone, playfully tease or to pursue a romantic relationship, according to Antonio Borrello, psychologist and relationship expert. Any flirting with the intention to fill a romantic or s*xual desire with someone other than your partner is obviously Cheat!ng, Borrello said.

However, this isn’t how it starts out. It begins as an innocent gesture that slowly crosses over into infidelity. You’ve crossed that line when you keep your flirting a secret, feel guilty afterwards or feel emotionally attached to someone else, Borrello warns.

4. Putting other interests before your spouse

It’s not only Cheat!ng when you put another person before your spouse, but also when you put your hobbies before them. This is called an object affair. While this is nothing like an emotional or physical affair, this type of Cheat!ng sends the message that you don’t value your spouse as much as something else – whatever it may be.

If your partner is putting their interests above you, express how you feel. Keep in mind your spouse might not realize they’re putting something else above you. Work together with love and patience to come to a complete understanding and solution.

5. Having an online relationship

One study showed that many people don’t believe online s*xual relationships are real. They see it as simply a fantasy that arouses them.

Even though online relationships aren’t physically real, they are still psychologically real, according to Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D. These “fake” relationships can have a major, detrimental impact on your marriage if you keep pursuing them. Turn off your virtual relationships and focus on the one that matters.

With all of the many controversial views on what is and isn’t considered Cheat!ng, it is ultimately up to the couple to decide for themselves. Study what the experts say and talk with your spouse about where your relationship boundaries lie. When you both completely understand and accept each other’s expectations, you can have a happy and fulfilling marriage.

Source: FamilyShare

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7 Common Problems Every Marriage Faces—And How To Fix Them

HOLDING GRUDGES OVER MINOR ANNOYANCES
A stark reality occurs when you move in with your partner: Your swoon-worthy lover—the very same one you couldn’t wait to see every day—is suddenly also the person who leaves their damp towel on the floor and puts the empty milk carton back in the fridge. These minor irritations can grow into serious annoyances over time, leaving you far angrier than the situation warrants.
The Fix: The solution is simple, although that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s easy to stick with: Don’t let anger over small things fester. “Great couples learn not to let those little things distract from the major things, like love and commitment,” explains Beverly Hills family psychologist Fran Walfish, PsyD. That said, if you know it makes your partner nuts when you forget to clean the lint trap or empty the bathroom trash, try harder to remember to tackle these small tasks.

UNDERVALUING YOUR PARTNER’S OPINION
Most of us know that we’re not right all the time, but it can still be hard to really let ourselves value another person’s opinion with the same weight we give our own views. But respecting your partner’s opinion, and assuming that they’re acting out of the best intentions—not the worst—is important for a healthy partnership. “If you believe your spouse’s intent is to make your life miserable, then you will most likely never have a good relationship. If you actively work to believe the best in someone, then it changes how you view what they do,” says Vancouver, WA-based therapist David Simonsen, PhD.
The Fix: Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes, recommends Simonsen. “It could radically change a relationship if couples are willing to do this more often.” A lack of valuation not only causes conflicts, but can stall a couple’s overall progress, says Arlington, TX-based therapist Jim Siebold, PhD. “If couples do not feel loved and valued, they are less likely to engage in difficult topics from a collaborative perspective. We approach conversations with adversaries much differently than we do partners,” he explains.

TALLYING PERCENTAGES
Most couples agree that labor, both physical and emotional, should be split fairly evenly between both partners in a relationship. But if you make it an obsessive proposition, worrying more about perfect equality than happiness, the relationship will suffer.
The Fix: Break the habit of tallying up your contributions and comparing them to your spouse’s efforts. As long as no one feels taken advantage of, or like they’re doing the lion’s share of the work, there’s no need to count percentages. A better way to reach equality is to keep communicating honestly and make your own needs known “Relationships require two willing particiP@nts who understand and accept that sometimes one needs more than the other emotionally or $exually,” explains Walfish. “There are days when he will need 95% of you and vice versa. As long as you get enough of what you need, it’s a good working relationship.”

STARTING OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT
You may feel confident in the strength of your love and the fundamentals of your relationship, but even strong communicators can benefit from an expert’s input and strategies. That’s particularly true in the early stages of a marriage. “My hearty recommendation to newer couples is to see the value of building a good foundation of trust on the front end of their relationship, before significant damage is done to one or both partners,” says Gary Brown, PhD.
The Fix: Put in the work early. It will help you and your partner establish good communication and conflict resolution skills, says Brown. “When couples work on their emotional foundation early on, they dramatically increase the chances of enjoying the type of relationship that others will envy, and hopefully try to emulate.”

FORGETTING YOUR OWN EMOTIONAL SELF-MAINTENANCE
A lack of physical self-maintenance can be a difficulty for some couples, but Anjhula Bais, PhD, a New York-based psychologist who is trained in Buddhism and other forms of spirituality, believes emotional and spiritual self-maintenance is just as important (these 8 simple meditations can change your life). She recommends mindfulness training, which helps people learn to self-regulate their emotions. Plus, this practice helps couples stay in the present moment, which improves communications.
The Fix: Hugs. “Partner driving you crazy? Hug them anyway,” says Bais, who practices her own advice. Every morning, along with her husband, she engages in a mindful hugging meditation by Buddhist monk and philosopher Thich Nhat Hanh. “We look deeply into each other’s eyes for about 30 seconds, hug each other, and think to ourselves in the present moment—no matter what is going on in our lives and with each other—’thank you for being here, where will you be 300 years from now…’ It may sound slightly out there, but I encourage people to try it. It really does shift things.”

HAVING UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS—INCLUDING $exUALLY
It’s natural to have expectations of your spouse. But if you don’t express them clearly and verbally, meeting those expectations becomes a near-impossible puzzle for your partner to solve.
The Fix: Instead, make expectations clear with a regular “marriage meeting,” recommends marriage expert Megan Caston, who runs Marriage365, a relationship education nonprofit, along with her husband, Casey Caston, and also hosts the Un.clad Conversations webcast. “We sit down once a week and we talk about everything: our schedules, our budget, our date night, all of it,” says Caston. Every detail gets covered during these check-ins. “When we schedule s*x, we say, who’s going to initiate, and how much foreplay? A lot of couples don’t, and then they have those missed expectations.”
Caston says that the spontaneity lost by scheduled s*x is made up for by the fact that, well, you’re having s*x. “If a couple has spontaneous s*x all the time, they shouldn’t schedule, they should just keep doing what they’re doing. But the reality is, most people aren’t doing that. And if you know you’re going to have s*x that night, you have the whole day to get excited for it.”

KEEPING SECRETS
Couples don’t need to tell each other absolutely everything—go ahead, maintain some mystery. But if you’re avoiding telling your partner something because you’re afraid it would anger them, that’s more problematic.
This holds true for small things, like making a frivolous purchase when you’d both agreed to stick strictly to a budget for the month, and also for big secrets, like infidelity. “Infidelity is far and away the biggest relationship shatterer,” says Jeffrey Hoffman, who specializes in family law as a partner at Lowe Stearns, a New Orleans-based law firm. But as relationship expert Robert Weiss, LCSW, who specializes in s*x addiction and infidelity, points out, “It isn’t the Cheat!ng that is really the profoundly painful thing for the spouse. The greatest wound to a couple dealing with infidelity is the breakdown of trust.”
The Fix: Think twice before keeping that secret—even if it may mean some uncomfortable moments or conversations. “It’s more important to be real than to look good. It’s more important to let your partner know your truth than to try and get validation or just not get in trouble. It’s more important to be known, even if in the moment it’s going to cause pain. Because that is intimacy,” says Weiss.

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Here Are 5 Ways To Help Your Boo If He’s Cuming Too Quick

Take Charge
“Most men are not eager to seek help when it comes to matters of their man-hood,” says Morse. “Perhaps he thinks it’s too embarrassing or shameful to talk to his doctor or his partner, leaving you scrambling to find solutions.” That’s why Morse suggests taking some of the initiative in this scenario. Start by suggesting moves like girl on top, which will help you control the pace (and slow it down if he’s getting too close). Or you can pick up some condoms or analgesic sprays like Promescent to help him last longer, says Morse. It’ll show him that you support him and want to help, and it’ll take some of the burden off of him.

Teach Him a Thing or Two
You know Kegels can help you have stronger orgasms, and a new study found those exact same exercises could also help men. Seriously. So teach him how to do man-Kegels—it’s an easy, medication-free way to help him control his erection.

Suggest a Pregame
We know it sounds crazy but, before you meet up, tell your partner how hot it would be for him to self service to the thought of what you’ll be doing later on, says Emily Morse, Ph.D., host of s*x With Emily and co-founder of Emily & Tony. Why should he please himself without you? Morse explains that not only will it get him in the mood, but if he masturbates not long before he sees you, it can help him last longer when you’re together (as long as you know he’s not the kind of guy who can only go once a day). Just make sure he doesn’t have a solo session right before you get there, since he may need some time to recover for round two—a few hours should do the trick.

Press Pause

When you’re having s*x and want to help him last a little longer, ask him to pause. “When you stop s*x and start again, it will allow him to cool down for a few before getting going again,” explains Morse. Let him know you want to experiment with the slightest bit of kink by practicing the art of withholding. Use this time to just kiss without touching, give each other massages, or grab some fun toys to play with.

Let Him Watch You
Before having s*x, make self service part of your foreplay. “Tell him you want him to watch you touch yourself, he will love it,” Morse promises. Plus it will help you get a head start and close the climax gap so that you’re both on the same page once you’re having s*x.

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Nigerian Lady Has Announced That She Wants To Sell Her V!rg!n!ty For N600,000

The lady made the advertisement on a relationship blog, BreakorMakeup on Instagram. She said she would accept N600,000 for just one round of $ex that breaks the V!rg!n!ty, while the buyer would have to pay an extra N200,000 to go a second round and more.

She described herself as moderately endowed in the bosom and bottom department, while indicating that she is not a prostitute.

What do you say?

“I am still a virgin,but I want to break it this year. I don’t want to give it free of charge,but I want to sell it,I will put it up for 600k only,if you are interested in having my body fresh,pls contact the admin and they will contact me directly.

“I have a standing B00bs,moderate ass and still a very tight virgin. The 600k is for just one round,which is just for breaking the V!rg!n!ty,if you must go another round,I will collect 200k. Don’t call me a prostitute,I am not. I just want to place a price for my pride,instead of giving it free to a man who will not value it. But if you want a serious relationship,it has to be marriage at first sight.

Thanks . Her IG handle is @bom Please don’t contact us,if u are interested in her offer,state it in the comment box and she Will contact U”

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5 Dumb Things Ladies Worry About During S3x

“Most women have insecurities that cannot be quieted, and these fears about ourselves can often follow us into the bedroom, while we are concerned with how our hair looks or if we’re too sweaty, men are more often than not oblivious to what can drive women crazy”. In most cases, most of those things that women worry about are what stroke men’s fire especially things that women get worried about when it comes to s3x.

So, today I am going to dispel a few common misconceptions women often believe when it comes to what their men are thinking about them during s3x.

Your body is D!sgust!ng, while ladies notice every new wrinkle, fat and other imperfection on their body, men don’t really pay attention to these things when they want to get down and dirty with you, the excitement of them having s3x won’t even allow them to notice a prominent zit and it won’t even bother them.

“You taste/smell bad, if your guy wants to go down on you, you might immediately start to worry about the smell and taste he will encounter, but don’t, unless you have an infection, everything is fine and if you are really concerned about it quickly  take a shower before you get busy”.

You didn’t shave, if you didn’t have time to shave your lady bit and your man wants to get down on you, it is normal for you to be bothered, your guy might not even be bothered about it if it’s not too bushy but if you feel so bothered about it, you can quickly trim it down while taking a shower before s3x.

“You’re not very tight unless you’re a physical anomaly of the female anatomy, your lady parts are just fine and your guy thinks so too, if you’re so worried that you might not feel tight enough, there are ways to increase the sensations for him that will please you too, you can practice Kegels – clenching and unclenching the muscles down there during s3x and in the midst of a hot session between the sheets, you can try positions that involve keeping your legs together”.

Your hair/makeup looks bad, stop it this is probably the last thing on his mind at that point in time. “If anything, tousled hair and smeared makeup will be the embodiment of the passion between the two of you, part of the fun of having s3x is letting go of your inhibitions”

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6 Basic Life Skills You Should Learn

Life skills are skills you need to learn to make the most out of life. You can’t afford to leave the ‘nest’ without these basic life skills if you want to succeed; besides there’s nothing worse than going out into the world feeling overwhelmed and ill-equipped to handle your own life.

Jumia Travel share 6 life skills you definitely should learn to take charge of your own life.

Personal Skills
These are essential skills you need to maintain a healthy body and mind. They enhance your understanding of the world and improve your quality of life. They primarily include how you recognize, manage and cope with your emotions and the emotions of others around you (emotional intelligence); an awareness of the benefits of a healthy diet and the need for exercise or physical activity; and home and personal care skills.

Interpersonal Communication Skills
You need to learn how to properly communicate your thoughts, opinions and ideas if you truly want to succeed. Interpersonal communication skills are skills we use to interact directly with other people to promote understanding and clarification, and to avoid misunderstandings. These skills are particularly important for effective negotiations and for problem solving and decision making especially in the workplace.

Literacy: Reading and Writing Skills
The beauty of these skills is that you don’t need to go to school to learn them. If you are determined enough, even if you can’t afford an education, you can solicit the help of a friend or relative who has these skills and learn it from them. Being able to read and write is a means to arm yourself with the most powerful tool for success – knowledge. It is also a powerful way to communicate your thoughts and intentions.

Numeracy Skills
You don’t need to be great at mathematics or become a rocket scientist to have basic numeracy skills, you just need an understanding of the basic principles of day-to-day numeracy, arithmetic and maths and this alone can open many doors for you. Numeracy skills gives you a great boost in life business wise, they make you more employable, save you time and money, help you avoid being cheated etc.

Life Management and Organization Skills
These include keeping your finances organized, time management, knowing how to live within your means, knowing how to ask for things you want, knowing how to say ‘no’ to things outside your plan or budget and how to compromise when necessary, being able to manage your expenses and avoid overspending etc. Until you master these particular skills, your life will continue to control you rather than you being in control of your life.

General Conscientiousness
This is basically being aware of your surroundings, being able to recognize and avoid potentially dangerous situations, being socially responsible and avoiding things like driving while drunk, being s*xually responsible and just generally being responsible and being prepared for emergency situations.

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10 Types of Friends You Do (And Don’t) Really Need in Your Life

While some friendships are fleeting in nature, others stand the test of time. You know the ones: The friends who’ve stuck by you through thick and thin, no matter what. And because not all friendships are made to last forever, it’s perfectly normal to take inventory of your current relationships. This means it’s time to give up on the ones that do you no good, and hold on tight to the ones that do. When it comes down to it, there are just some friends you should keep — and some you should ditch.

Keep: The friend who brings happiness

Happy people have the ability to effortlessly spread their feel-good vibes to everyone they meet. And who doesn’t want to surround themselves with happy folks? People who have a genuinely good, healthy outlook on life are likely to project their positivity onto you. In fact, research shows your happiness can depend those you’re connected with. A simple, yet true, fact giving you another reason to keep that perma-happy friend by your side.

Ditch: The negative friend

There’s nothing worse than being surrounded by a truly negative person. Simply put, it’s a bummer. Their work life is terrible. Their relationship is always on the fritz. The list goes on. While everyone’s allowed to complain to their friends when they need to, it shouldn’t be the basis of your entire relationship. Venting conversations are healthy. Chronic complaining, on the other hand, is not.

The difference between you and your complaining friend, though, is your ability to do something about it. You know you can, and will, change the things you’re unhappy with. The problem with having a Negative Nancy in your life; however, is they can take a toll on your well-being, as another person’s stress can eventually rub off on you.

Keep: The friend you can talk to

Honesty is an essential part of any relationship. And having a friend you can confide in? Well, that’s priceless. If you can truly count on a person to provide a listening ear, they’re clearly in it for the long haul. Whether you go to them for relationship advice, to vent about your boss, or to shed a tear, they’ve got your back. Professor William Rawlins told Motto, “Acceptance is a cornerstone of friendship — you can open up and be vulnerable with friends.” Keep these friends close, and confide in them when you need. Just make sure you return the favor.

Ditch: The friend who’s always bragging

Being friends with someone who’s constantly bragging about how amazing they are is plain annoying. You know every time you see them you’re bound to be bombarded with tales of their latest escapades. The only problem is they totally lack any sense of self-awareness. So, yeah, it’s a problem. As Elite Daily mentions, this person is probably only fishing for some kind of compliment, like, “I wish I could do that!” Well, you probably could, and if your friend were actually a real friend, they’d instill that same confidence in you.

Keep: The friend who challenges you

While you don’t want a friend you’re constantly arguing with, there’s value in one who challenges you. Someone who just agrees with everything you say probably doesn’t have much of an opinion of their own. Surrounding yourself with people whose opinions don’t always 100% jive with yours is how people learn, after all. We agree with Real Simple on this one: A friend who’s brutally honest and challenges you is a keeper.

Ditch: The flake

We get it, everyone’s busy. But just because something else came up is no reason to bail. There are always exceptions, but if you have a friend who’s constantly flaking, it’s time to really evaluate what they bring to your life. Why are their plans more important than yours? Well, they’re not.

According to The Huffington Post, a friend who’s constantly canceling on you isn’t thinking about how their actions affect you. If you’re not important to them, they clearly don’t deserve your friendship.

Keep: The friend who takes risks

Live fast, take chance … and do so with like-minded friends. The experiences you gain by stepping outside your comfort zone are part of what makes you who you are. You gain confidence, hone decision-making skills, and develop a greater sense of self. Ski in the backcountry with friends who ski harder than you, and save coffee shop dates for those who just need a good chat.

Ditch: The friend who stabs you in the back

This seems obvious, but sometimes, it can be tough to actually say goodbye. Some people are two-faced by nature, but who has time for all that drama? Not you.

Professor Beverley Fehr tells U.S. News & World Report a betrayal of trust is likely to end a friendship, which makes total sense. Whether the offense was flirting with your significant other, or talking behind your back from time to time, it’s time to cut the cord. Trust is an essential element in any relationship, no matter what.

Keep: The friend you look up to

It’s important to respect your friends, particularly a friend whom you actually look up to. According to LifeH@ck, you should consider yourself lucky if “you have someone smart, inspiring, and admirable in your life.” And we couldn’t agree more. “We all need a friend who inspires us to be better people without making us feel inadequate,” the publication notes. It really is the truth.

Ditch: The friend who’s a bad example

By the time you’ve reached adulthood, chances are you have a pretty good grasp on the kind of person you are and want to be. Although the days of succumbing to peer pressure may be long gone, there’s still opportunity to be negatively influenced by others. Fox News Magazine recommends staying far away from folks who are bad examples. It may not appear so at first sight, but even a person whom you love spending time with can have a less-than-great impact on your life. For instance, a friend whom you only get wasted with probably isn’t the best choice for a lifelong pal.

Source: CheatSheet

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For Parents: Here Are 6 Things You Should Avoid Saying To Your Daughter

One of your biggest responsibilities as a parent is teaching her how to view her world and herself. Everything you say to her shapes this perception. You might not be aware that some of the things you say in the hopes of helping her, could actually be harmful to her growth. Be careful of what you say to her and avoid these six phrases:

“He’s mean to you because he likes you”
When their daughter comes home complaining (or even crying) that a boy pulled her hair and called her a “doo doo face,” many parents explain it away by telling her that boys do mean things to girls they like. That idea teaches a false and destructive lesson. Essentially, saying “he’s mean to you because he likes you,” equates physical and verbal abuse with love.

Instead, teach your daughter that love calls for respect and kindness and it is never acceptable for someone else to hurt her – especially in the name of love.

“You’re so pretty!”

Complimenting your daughter on her looks may seem like a harmless boost to her confidence, but it can actually rupture her view of herself. A constant stream of “hey, gorgeous girl” and “you pretty princess!” is going to mix with all the movie stars, boys and bullies who tell her the same thing: her appearance is her most important attribute.

But it’s not. She can’t control how she looks. She can’t help if she gets acne, if her hair isn’t flawless, if she is in an accident that covers her body with burn scars or if she grows older and gets wrinkles. Believing that physical appearance – something she has no control over – is the most important trait, will set your daughter up for heartbreak.

Help your daughter be confident in her appearance, not by teaching her that she’s beautiful, but by teaching her that her looks don’t matter. What matters is what she does and who she becomes.

“I need to go on a diet”

Even if you’re diligent in avoiding remarks on your daughter’s physical appearance, she’s going to grow up believing that it’s important if you let her hear your remarks about your own appearance.

Don’t let her see you eyeing your b*tt with disdain or the diet shakes you keep in the P@ntry. This will only teach your daughter that appearance is something to be dissatisfied with. Develop confidence in your own appearance and don’t project your own insecurities, because your self-conscious behavior will encourage your daughter to develop insecurities of her own.

“I was never good at math”

Many parents don’t worry about saying this because it’s not putting down their daughter, it’s putting down themselves. However, studies prove that a parent’s attitude towards a subject or skill directly affects a child’s ability to do that skill.

Furthermore, beware of telling your daughter something “is easy.” This attitude can be damaging because if you tell her something is easy when it’s hard for her, she will feel inferior and incompetent for not being able to do it. Instead of telling her “it’s easy” say, “I know you can do it!”

“Girls aren’t good at that”

Says who? Even if there’s a general trend of girls not being good at something or interested in something, it doesn’t mean they can’t be. Maybe your daughter will be the one that excels above everyone else or maybe “girls aren’t good at it” simply because people tell them they aren’t. Your daughter’s s*x only determines her capability if she allows it to.

“You can’t watch that”

When you tell your daughter what she can and can’t watch, you are teaching her to depend on your censorship. Of course you should set standards for what kind of media is appropriate for your daughter to consume. However, instead of telling her “you can’t watch that,” teach her the principles to make good media choices for herself. This will enable her to make good decisions throughout her life.

 

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Here’s A Step By Step On What Actually Happens During a Female climax

An climax isn’t that different from an electrical capacitor, building up arousal until a firing threshold is reached. Stop and she’ll return to her baseline—and you’ll start from scratch.

Here’s how to create sparks every time.

Stage 1: She Becomes Aroused

s*xual triggers—grinding on the dance floor, Ryan Gosling movies—unleash a cascade of physiological responses that begin to prepare her body for s*x. Her body starts to lubricate the vaginal canal and inner labia. The brain orders the release of the chemical vasoactive intestinal peptide, which increases bloodflow to the pelvic area, swelling the inner and outer labia, and causing her to feel s*xual tension.

Stage 2: Her Body Unwinds

The parts of her brain that process fear and anxiety start to relax, and the uterus tips upward, making the v**ina longer. (The process is called “tenting.”) The cli**ris swells, as does the spongy tissue around the urethra, which is why some women feel as if they have to pee when aroused. Indirect touching of the cli**ris will make her crave direct stimulation, adding fuel to her s*xual-feedback loop

Stage 3: Her Vital Signs Increase

As her heart rate and breathing speed up, pumping more blood to her extremities, the color of the labia deepens, and her cli**ris—ultrasensitive at this point—extends, fully engorged, awaiting contact with your man-hood. Slow, steady stimulation that builds rhythmically will help coax her body toward the threshold to climax. The more anticipation she feels, the better she’ll respond.

Stage 4: She Nears Her Threshold

The conscious part of her brain, drowning in neuro-transmitters, enters a trancelike state. Just prior to climax, the subconscious part—which also handles things like breathing and heartbeat—signals a vaginal nerve to start muscular contractions. You may feel the outer third of her v**ina “grabbing” at your man-hood, but her arousal may fade and she will still revert to stage 1 if stimulation ceases or changes.

Stage 5: She Reaches climax

The orgasmic stage—with rhythmic or sporadic contractions in the v**ina, uterus, and anus—typically lasts 10 to 60 seconds. At this point, some women prefer more intense stimulation that matches their orgasmic response. The chemical oxytocin is released in the brain, promoting a feeling of closeness, according to some research—which could explain why she wants to cuddle after s*x.

Stage 6: Her Rest Period Begins

Unlike men, some women can have multiple orgasms without experiencing a refractory period after each one. Without stimulation, however, they will return to a base-line level of arousal. Contractions stop, the uterus lowers, and the cli**ris goes back in its shell. Heart rate and breathing slow, and bloodflow returns to normal. The cli**ris will probably be too sensitive for direct stimulation, but other parts of her body will be yearning for attention.

Source: Women’s Health

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9 Reasons You Always Have To Pee In The Middle Of The Night

The first question a doctor will ask you if you complain about having to pee in the middle of the night is, “Did the need to urinate wake you up, or did you wake up and notice you had to urinate?”

“How you answer makes a difference,” says Randy Wexler, MD, an associate professor of family medicine and vice chair of clinical affairs at the Ohio State University Medical Center.

Wexler explains that, when you sleep, increased blood flow to your kidneys can accelerate urine production. So if you wake up because of a snoring bedmate or insomnia or some other reason that has nothing to do with your bladder, you’ll still have no problem producing urine if you decide to head to the bathroom.

But if having to pee is the reason you’re waking up, that’s not something to ignore, he says. Here, he and other experts explain some of the most common causes of having to pee at night—and what to do about them.

YOU’RE DRINKING TOO MUCH WATER BEFORE BED.
Yes, this is super obvious. But Wexler says some people don’t realize just how much H2O they’re swallowing in the hours before bed—and how that fluid can disrupt their sleep. “I tell patients to stop drinking water two hours before bed,” he says. Also, hit the bathroom before you hop in the sack. If you follow these instructions and you’re still waking up to pee, it’s time to see a doctor

YOU’RE DRINKING ALCOHOL OR CAFFEINE TOO CLOSE TO BEDTIME.
Both alcohol and caffeine can increase your urine output, Wexler says. If you’re the type who enjoys a cup of joe after dinner, or if you drink booze before bedtime, you’re asking for trouble. Wexler recommends cutting off all caffeine—that includes tea—at 6 PM. He also suggests you stop drinking alcohol at least three hours before bed. Again, if you try these changes and your problem persists, see your doc.

YOU’RE LOW ON THIS HORMONE.
“With aging comes a natural loss of antidiuretic hormone,” says Tobias Köhler, MD, chair of urology at Illinois’s Memorial Hospital. This hormone helps your kidneys control their fluid levels. The less of the hormone you have, the more you pee. Köhler says this natural hormone loss usually starts around age 40, but often becomes noticeable much later—during your 60s or 70s. “There are some drug therapies, but a lot of people just deal with it,” he says.

YOU HAVE AN INFECTION.
If you’re a woman and you’ve eliminated the “self-inflicted” pee triggers mentioned above, the most-likely culprit is a urinary tract infection, Wexler says. “If it’s a urinary tract infection, urination may be accompanied by burning or dribbling or discomfort,” he explains. Also, these sensations are going to persist during the day. While far less common in men, a urinary tract infection can also cause guys to feel like they have to pee all the time, including at night, Wexler adds. Again, a burning sensation while peeing is something to watch for.

YOUR LEGS ARE SWOLLEN.
If you have swollen feet or legs—a condition known as edema—that fluid retention in your lower body can cause you to pee a lot when you lie down. “All that fluid in your legs has to go somewhere, and that increases your urine production,” Köhler explains. The solution: Elevate your legs a couple hours before bed. That will help the fluid in your lower half flow upward, and so will allow you to get your peeing done before climbing in bed, he says.

YOU’RE DEALING WITH DIABETES OR PREDIABETES.
If you’re suffering from diabetes or prediabetes, your body may ramp up your urine production in order to clear away excess blood sugar. That could explain why you’re waking up to pee at night, Wexler says. As with a UTI, frequent peeing caused by diabetes or prediabetes will persist during the day. Especially if you tend to feel thirsty all the time—even when you drink a lot of water—that’s a sign blood-sugar issues are to blame, he adds.

YOU HAVE AN STD.
“Some $exually transmitted diseases can cause frequent urination, such as gonorrhea and chlamydia,” Wexler says. A burning sensation while you pee is also a sign your problem could be an STD—though for middle-aged or older adults, a UTI is a lot more likely, he adds.

YOUR UTERUS OR OVARIES ARE ENLARGED.
A wide range of conditions—including uterine polyps, ovarian cysts, or uterine and ovarian cancers—can cause an enlargement of these organs. If they’re oversized, they can press on your bladder and make you feel like you have to pee all the time, Wexler says. “There’s really no way to know if one of these is the cause unless you see a doctor,” he adds.

YOUR BLADDER IS SLIPPING.
The muscle, ligaments, and connective tissue that help make up a woman’s pelvic floor also support her bladder and other organs. As a result of age or, more commonly, vaginal child birth, that pelvic floor can weaken and a woman’s bladder can slide or “prolapse” into a position that puts pressure on it, Wexler says. If that happens, you may feel like you need to pee all the time. “Women can do Kegel exercises for bladder prolapse, but they’d need to be diagnosed first,” he says.

Source: Women’sHealth

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11 Signs You Have The Best Wife Ever

You come home to see your beautiful wife and your kids’ pudding-covered faces press up against your legs as they wrap their little arms around you to welcome you home.

In that moment you’re reminded how much you love your wife for all the wonderful things she does for you and your family. Husbands, your wife’s a keeper if she does any one of these things:

1. She makes you want to be a better person

Your wife’s influence and support pushes you to do your best in every endeavor. Just being around her makes you want to improve yourself. As you work diligently to become better, do the same for your wife; encourage her to be her best self every day.

2. She apologizes

She recognizes when she’s in the wrong and apologizes. Forgive her always; she’s trying her best. Your marriage will thrive when you are both able to easily forgive and continue to improve each day.

3. She loves her children

If your wife takes time to read to her children, take them to the park or kiss their forehead before laying them down to sleep; she’s a keeper for sure. Tell her you appreciate all she does for your family.

4. She’s confident

She has a humble confidence. She appreciates when you praise her but never lets it get to her head. Compliment the little things your wife does each day to boost her confidence.

5. She’s determined

Her driven and goal-oriented attitude is not only impressive and attractive, but it also sets a good example for you and your children. Give your wife some encouragement by telling her you’re proud of her or by helping her achieve her goals.

6. She manages money

She knows the family budget and lives within those means. You find it easy to discuss your budget and financial goals together. Don’t forget to leave room to splurge on a date every now and then!

7. She occasionally dresses up for you

She’s beautiful no matter what she’s wearing, but you love it when she puts a little extra time into getting ready. Tell her she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen and see her face light up.

8. She listens

She shows genuine interest in what you have to say. When you’re both willing to share your concerns and thoughts, you’ll be able to understand each other better and improve the connection between you.

9. She confides in you

She shares her worries and successes with you because she trusts you. Respect that trust by keeping her secrets between the two of you.

10. She loves herself

She’s happy with who she is inside and out. Even the most confident women have insecurities sometimes, so build her up with compliments to remind her how amazing she is.

11. She loves you unconditionally

You’re the only man who holds her heart, and she proves it through the things she says and does. Show your wife you love her, too, by wrapping her in a hug and telling her what you love most about her.

Husbands, if your wife does any of these things, she’s a keeper for sure. Show her how much you adore her by taking on some of the attributes you want most in a spouse. Be the person you want your wife to be, and you’ll find yourself happier with both yourself and your marriage.

Source: FamilyShare

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6 Traits Of Couple That Are Still Waxing Strong

Whenever you see a happy couple who have been together for a long time, your first thought might be, “how do they do it?” They seem to interact with ease and know how to complement one another without missing a beat. But it’s not that these couples never have conflict. They experience troubles just like the rest of us; the only difference is they use their positive personality traits as a tool to help them navigate their interactions. These traits allow them to handle hard times gracefully, making their union even stronger.

The most successful couples generally share a few key positive traits. If you want your relationship to thrive, it will benefit you to work on developing in these areas. Here are six traits of successful couples.

1. Gratitude

Successful couples show their appreciation for one another every chance they get. They don’t take each other for granted and they realize each day with their partner is a gift to be celebrated. A study conducted by researchers at the University of Georgia found expressions of gratitude could predict the quality of a marriage. “We found that feeling appreciated and believing that your spouse values you directly influences how you feel about your marriage, how committed you are to it, and your belief that it will last,” study co-author Ted Futris said.

2. Kindness

Couples who have relationships that work are kind to each other, even when they’re angry. An argument doesn’t turn into a shouting match where each person is vying to be right. Instead, disagreements are seen as opportunities for understanding.

3. Attentiveness

Successful couples have perfected the art of listening to each other and being aware of one another. They know how to resolve conflict by attempting to learn each other’s needs and making an effort to fulfill those needs as best they can. In his book, The 5 Love Languages, author Gary Chapman describes these basic needs (or love languages, as he refers to them) as words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

4. Compassion

Winning couples gracefully repair relationship ruptures. Instead of walking out of the room in a huff or giving the silent treatment, these couples pause and smooth out their differences with love and care. Letting things blow over isn’t their style. Rather, they intentionally work on resolving a relationship disruption by letting each other know how they feel and making an effort to repair what isn’t working in the relationship. They honor each other’s feelings and move forward by talking through their issues, doing what they can to alleviate emotional pain.

5. Playfulness

Successful couples, although generally happy, understand relationships can be tough. Consequently, they know how to diffuse tension with playfulness and a bit of humor when needed. A dose of laughter is one of the key ingredients to their recipe for a fruitful partnership.

6. Perseverance

Couples who enjoy a satisfying partnership are committed to each other and the health of their relationship. Their goal is to stick it out, even when things get tough. Most importantly, they choose to love each other even when they don’t like each other. Their relationship is a top priority.

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Here Are 4 Types Of Office Romance And What To Do If You Find Yourself In Each Situation

The fling: Just started an office affair, tread more cautiously. You don’t want to set the office gossip mills abuzz.
What to do: Until it’s serious, hide it.

Dating the boss: A minefield. Get together with the boss and you are sleeping your way to the top. And if you are the boss you’ll be accused of abusing power.
What to do: Switch your sights to someone more lateral to you. Or hide it at all cost.

Forbidden romance: Some offices have strict dating policies, but the forbidden fruit always seems sweeter. Ask yourself: are you looking for passion or promotion?
What to do: Follow company guidelines.

Dating the partner: Starting a business with your significant other is a good and bad thing. Good because you can discuss anything, bad because the personal and professional mix.

What to do: Cultivate smaller egos.
Nearly 5 per cent of workers who have had an office romance say they have left a job because of an office relationship gone sour

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The Best Way To Get Over Your Ex, Based On Science

Many of us have been there: we get dumped, spend hours crying, and medicate our feelings away with vices like binge eating, alcohol, or cigarettes. We’re left with the physical pain of a broken heart thinking about, “how it used to be” while our friends say, “get over it.” Now, researchers at the University of Colorado, Boulder suggest getting over our ex is as simple as convincing ourselves that we are — known as the placebo effect.

“Just the fact that you are doing something for yourself and engaging in something that gives you hope may have an impact,” said Tor Wager, senior author and a professor of psychology and neuroscience at CU Boulder, in a statement.

Placebos can be powerful alternatives when it comes to healing physical pain. The effects arise from a conscious belief that what we’re doing will lead to a speedy recovery. Previous research has found simply thinking a placebo will help alleviate pain will cause the brain to release more endorphins, or natural painkillers when it comes to clinical outcomes.

Wager, who has been researching the placebo effect for 15 years, sought to explore the influence of placebos on emotional pain from a breakup. In the study, published in the Journal of Neuroscience, the research team examined a group of 40 volunteers who experienced an “unwanted romantic breakup” within the last six months. ParticiP@nts were asked to bring a photo of their ex and a photo of a same-gendered good friend to a brain-imaging lab where Wager and his colleagues would perform functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scans.

First, the particiP@nts were shown photos of their ex and asked to remember the breakup, followed by images of their friend during a fMRI scan. Meanwhile, the researchers administered physical pain via a hot stimulus on their left forearm. Researchers repeated these stimuli as particiP@nts rated how they felt on a scale of 1 (very bad) to 5 (very good) upon viewing the images as their brain activity was being tracked. fMRI scans revealed regions activated during physical and emotional pain were similar.

Wager stressed to the broken-hearted: “Know that your pain is real – neurochemically real.”

The researchers tested the placebo effect by giving the particiP@nts a nasal spray; half were told it was a “powerful analgesic effective in reducing emotional pain” and half were told it was a simple saline solution, according to the news release. fMRI scans were performed again along with the stimuli to see how the brain would respond when particiP@nts saw photos of their ex.

The findings revealed the placebo had a powerful effect on healing heartache via brain activity. The particiP@nts showed an increase in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex — an area of the brain involved in regulating emotions. At the same time, areas of the brain linked to rejection showed less activity.

After taking the placebo, particiP@nts were happiest when the periaqueductal gray (PAG) area of the midbrain displayed higher levels of activity. PAG is known for regulating levels of opioids — painkilling brain chemicals — and dopamine, along with other feel-good neurotransmitters. Wager believes the placebo is what led to the release of these chemicals in the brain.

“The current view is that you have positive expectations and they influence activity in your prefrontal cortex, which in turn influences systems in your midbrain to generate neurochemical opioid or dopamine responses,” he said.

This study helps us acknowledge heartache is real; it comes with emotional and physical pain, but that pain can be alleviated. Wager and his colleagues propose one of the best ways to get over a breakup is to trick ourselves into getting over it. In other words, doing anything we believe will helps us get better will probably do just that.

Previous research affirms doing something new to enhance our sense of self will not only serve as a distraction, but help us get over our past by shifting the focus back to ourselves. A 2010 study found our identity gets intertwined with our partner’s, which can leave us feeling incomplete after a breakup. Therefore, doing something new for ourselves may be enough to help heal a broken heart.

Bottom line: Believing we can get over someone is what we need to mend a broken heart.

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Be Careful, Guys: Checkout the 7 Types of Lies People Tell to Deceive You Every Day

It can be really traumatizing to be lied to especially when the lie is coming from a known person. These are some of the kinds of lies people tell everyday.

Illustrative photo

 

It might be surprising but definitely interesting to know that lies actually have classifications and not all lies are the same; there are indeed different kinds of lies. Jumia Travel and Jumia Mobile Week share 7 different kinds of lies people tell.

 

1. White Lies

 

This is often believed as the least serious kind of lie. These type of lies are told to avoid burdening an individual with the weight of the truth. An example is showing appreciation for an undesirable gift. These lies are indeed quite harmless but the problem is over time the white liar loses credibility and is dismissed as an insincere person.

 

2. The Bold-Faced Lie

 

These lies are common with children, but when an adult does it, it’s just plain annoying. In a bold-faced lie, the liar says something everyone knows is false but stands by it as the truth (regardless of how obvious the lie is). People tend to be resentful of bold-faced lies because of how belittling of time and intelligence it is.

 

3. Exaggerated Lies

 

Here the truth is usually mixed with untruth to make the liar look impressive to others. The funny part is the exaggerator will sometimes weave truth and lies in a way that confuses even themselves. Unfortunately, at some point the exaggerator begins to believe these lies that no one else might even believe. It’s truly tragic.

 

4. Deceptive Lies

 

This might seem like tautology but it isn’t. A deceptive lie is one where the deceiver creates a false impression with truth, either by not telling all the facts or recounting the facts in a misleading way. It’s quite impressive actually and unfortunately people tend to believe these lies. These lies are subtle, yet powerful, hurtful and even deadly.

 

5. Compulsive Lies

 

These lies are either caused by low self-esteem or the need for attention. Compulsive liars tell lies even when telling the truth will be easier and better; what matters most to them is the attention the lies will give them. It’s quite ridiculous and at the same time extremely tragic. Compulsive liars typically find it difficult to stop lying as it is more of an addiction for them.

 

6. Lies of Fabrication

 

This involves presenting something you are not sure of, as the truth. Gossip blogs are fond of this. These lies are very hurtful and damaging, they typically lead to rumours that put others in danger or damage the reputation of others. Gossips and rumour mongers are the people typically associated with these lies.

 

7. Duplicitous Lies

 

These lies are typical of people who break spoken promises and commitments. Duplicitous liars typically hide their true feelings and intentions behind false actions and words. These liars cause great damage to others. Unfortunately, they are quite difficult to identify until they’ve disappointed. One way to protect yourself is to try to speak to people who have previously known the person to know if the person is generally associated with broken promises and commitments, so you can be careful.

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8 Effective Ways To Avoid Sagging Of B.reast

Eventually, at some point in a woman’s life, no matter how hard she tries to avoid it, her bre*sts will sag. However, there are a number of things a woman can do to avoid early sagging and maintain her youthful appearance for as long as possible.

Jumia Travel share 8 ways to avoid B.reast sagging.

Wear a Supportive Bra that’s Your Size Getting a supportive fitted bra that is your size will help to give your B.reasts the support they need. It will also help your B.reast to resist gravity and reduce bouncing when you walk. This will help reduce strains on the skin and ligaments of your bre*sts and prevent them from stretching out.

Exercise 
The best way to keep your body young and fit is by engaging in regular physical activity. One of such activities is exercise. As a woman, exercise helps to emphasize the perkiness of your bre*st. Be sure to wear a well-fitted sport bra during exercise to hold your B.reast in place, reduce bouncing and prevent the stretching of the skin and ligaments of your bre*st.

Avoid Smoking 
The chemicals in cigarettes harm the collagen and elastin in your skin making it weaker and less stretchy, which causes wrinkling of the skin and sagging of the B.reast. Once the skin of your bre*sts loses elasticity, your bre*sts will sag, even if you are young. You should be mindful of this and avoid smoking.

Massage 
Moisturize your bre*sts daily and gently massage in a circular motion from upside down and vice versa, to keep the skin supple and help your bre*st retain their elasticity. Massaging your bre*sts helps to increase circulation in the tissues, which helps to increase the elasticity of the bre*sts.

Eat Proteins 
Eating proteins is the best way to heal damages to the skin, connective tissues and muscles. Your body uses proteins to heal these damages, which in turns helps strengthen your bre*sts to resist gravity and remain perky. Protein rich foods include meat, milk, beans, nuts etc.

Eat Complex Carbohydrates 
This particularly applies to you if you exercise regularly. Complex carbohydrates take longer to digest and provide energy for a longer time than simple sugars. This energy they provide is vital for exercise (so you don’t collapse from exhaustion during exercise). Good sources of complex carbohydrates are beans, corn, potatoes, lentils, green peas, whole-grain breads etc.

Avoid Weight Fluctuations 
Try to maintain a stable weight as much as you can. Avoid yo-yo dieting, avoid rapidly gaining and losing weight, and avoid becoming overweight. This is because weight fluctuations tend to stretch out the skin of your bre*st causing it to sag over time.

Bre*st-feeding Will Not Make Your B.reasts Sag 
Please drop the unnecessary fear of bre*st-feeding causing your bre*sts to sag (if you have this fear). Your bre*sts sag as they get larger and heavier during pregnancy because this process stretches the ligaments of the bre*st. Regardless of whether you bre*stfeed or not, over time your bre*st will still sag. But note that bre*st-feeding will not make it worse.

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Things You Shouldn’t Mention On The First Date

 

 

In most cases, men just don’t watch what they say on a date. Of course, you can talk about anything with your friends, but when chatting with a girl, you need to be careful. It should be remembered that the purpose of the date is to awaken the companion’s interest in the conversation and, ultimately, to you. Here is a list of topics you should avoid on the first date.

10) Health problems 
Your health problems won’t interest a woman. Don’t think that you’ll win her heart by saying that you, for example, have chronic heartburn. This can only work with innocuous, problems, like an arm or leg fracture.

9) Technical terminology 
Women can’t stand incomprehensible words. If you use a lot of abstruse terms, she’ll think that you’re too busy with your work; otherwise, you’re trying to make a fool of her.

8) Ex-girlfriends Never mention your ex-girlfriends in conversation on the first date. It’s important for many reasons, for instance, because you can accidentally reveal your disadvantages. Don’t even start telling how you cheated on your ex or how annoying she was because she called you several times a day. On the first date, it’s necessary to build a basis for further relationships. A woman should think that you have cut all emotional ties with the past and move forward.

7) Sports 
Here is the axiom of the modern world: most women hate sports as much as men love it. Although it’s pretty understandable that you want to share your passion for football or hockey with her, perhaps she won’t show as much enthusiasm. And your knowledge of the results of all recent games will not make her think you smart.

6) Bad stories about traveling 
It should be a really exciting story; otherwise, it will be boring. The stories about how you missed the bus or how you got into the turbulence during the flight are not considered exciting. There is a high probability that after your story, she’ll start telling hers, and the evening will be spoiled. Thus, you’ll lose time and the opportunity to start a new relationship.

5) Everyday life 
There’s nothing interesting in most of what you did today, at least for a woman you are not familiar with yet. To make fun of everyday things, you need to know each other well. Also, too much discussion of TV programs, movies, etc., should also be avoided.

4) People she does not know 
You can ruin a date if you start talking about people your new companion doesn’t know. If it’s someone you like, a friend or someone closer, she’ll either start judging you according to her opinion of the person you are telling her about, or she’ll start comparing herself to that person. If it’s someone you don’t like, there’s a chance that you’ll come across as a fierce and nervous person. In other words, your bad side will become visible.

3) Cars Any five-year-old child will tell you: boys play with cars, girls play with dolls. Stories about the engines and the original designs of cars, which men find exciting, are annoying for women.

2) Too much love for pets Sure, puppies are a good topic for conversation, but only for neighbors walking their dogs. A woman doesn’t need to know what a lovely puppy your dog was. Owning a cute pet will not make you attractive. People who love their pets may just hide the fact that communicating with people is difficult to them. And you don’t want the girl to suspect anything like that, right?

1) $ex 
Talking about the best positions in s*x on the first date is like talking about your favorite cocktail at a job interview. Don’t rush things, or a girl may think that you are not serious, unsure of yourself, or even that you are a pervert. Don’t try to take the initiative and start a “mature” talk about s*x, because she is unlikely to take it seriously.

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6 Things All Guys Should Stop Doing By Age 30

Congratulations! You’ve made it to your dirty thirties. But now that you’re soldiering your way toward middle age, quite a few young man behaviors just don’t cut it anymore. From endangering to downright embarrassing, here’s what you need to leave behind.

Smoking: It looked cool and rebellious when you were 18 but now you seriously have to stamp out this stinky, unhealthy and expensive habit. Not only can cigarettes make you smell like an ashtray and discolor your teeth, but they’re also one of the leading causes of heart and lung disease.

Living in Your Parents’ Basement: Dude, grow up.

Binge Drinking: Before you get all whiney, we’re not telling you to quit drinking entirely. In fact, some studies have proven that drinking wine or beer in moderation can actually be good for your health. But regular heavy alcohol consumption can qualify as a chronic illness, and that’s no way to live.

Being Politically Clueless: We live in a time when your voice really does matter. Beyond that, the further you go professionally and the more you expand your horizons, the more you’ll be expected to converse like an actual adult who understands the world.

Not Owning a Good Belt and Wallet: Lose the duct tape wallet and nylon belt and invest in high-quality leather goods. Not only will you look more grown up, but these items will last you for years.

Ghosting Women: Love in the time of Tinder may help introduce you to a ton of awesome ladies. But you’re not going to be interested in every one that you meet. Instead of ghosting on the poor girl, man up and be honest if you’re not digging her.

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Here Are Ways To Know Your Partner Is Taking Advantage Of You

Being in a relationship should mean having a partner who’s also your equal. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. When the scales are out of balance, it’s only a matter of time until the relationship is left teetering on the edge of a breakup.

If you suspect your partner may be taking advantage of you, it’s time to face the facts. You don’t want to feel like you’re dating a used car salesman rather than a trustworthy significant other you can count on, which is why you need to take inventory before driving off the lot for good. Here are 10 dead giveaways you’re being taken advantage of.

1. They refuse to define the relationship

If you’re more than ready to have the talk, yet your partner has been dragging his or her feet for far too long, you’re probably being taken advantage of. It’s time to stop making excuses for them. Quit waiting around, and let your partner know that making it official is what you’re after.
2. They’re preoccupied with someone else

We’re not talking about a little innocent flirting every once in a while. While every relationship is different, one thing that’s definitely not OK is giving all your time and attention to someone who’s not your partner. Regardless of what kind of bond you and your partner have, every relationship has some sort of boundaries in place. Whatever those are for you, they need to be respected. A partner who’s preoccupied with someone else doesn’t have your best interests in mind.
3. Your partner is perfect only when you’re alone

Everyone wants someone they can be proud of. Or, at the very least, someone they can take out in public. Feeling confident with your significant other is a sure sign you two, at least for right now, are in a great place. So, heed caution when this isn’t the case. As The Bolde says, “He might be perfect when you’re alone between the sheets, but is he willing to be seen with you in the street? If the answer is no, RUN.” We couldn’t agree more.
4. They never make time for you

It’s crucial for any relationship to survive. After all, the reason you two got together in the first place was because you enjoyed each other’s company. Making time for your partner is imperative. It’s not fair for you to be the one constantly trying to make plans. Much like friendships, romantic relationships are a two-way street. If your partner isn’t putting in the effort to actually spend time with you, it’s time to reconsider.
5. You work harder at the relationship

Relationships are about give and take, and if you’re the one doing all the work, it’s clear your partner is taking advantage of your good nature. According to YourTango, any relationship requires some reciprocity. If yours doesn’t, it’s time to sever ties. There’s no reason you should be putting in 150% when your partner’s only making the bare minimum.

6. They guilt you into things you don’t want to do

When equality within a relationship is out of wH@ck, it can often seem like one person is calling all the shots. Do you ever feel guilted into doing things you really have zero interest in doing? If so, it’s quite possible your partner is taking advantage of you. Even if your willingness to allow your significant other to make all the decisions stems from a certain neediness, it’s still unacceptable.

7. They’re constantly asking for favors

Does it seem as though your partner is always cashing in on huge requests, yet is reluctant to do even the smallest of favors for you? If this is the case, Bustle says they’re obviously not around for the right reasons. They should put in the same effort when you need something, too.

8. It’s all about their needs

According to FamilyShare, you should proceed with caution if your partner never asks how your day was. Or they never “go out of their way to make sure you are genuinely doing OK.” Your partner should engage in your life by asking questions about what’s going on with you. If this isn’t happening, they clearly think everything’s about them, and likely don’t care much about you.

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DANGER! If You’ve Ever Taken Energy Drinks? Then You Should Read This Now….

 

 

 

Energy drinks are very common; they are a type of beverage that contain substances that stimulate certain organs in the body.

Although these drinks are not alcoholic, they contain very high amounts of caffeine, B vitamins, taurine , and other substances like sugar and herbs.

Energy drinks have been found to have certain negative effects in the body, here are some of them:

• They contain high amounts of caffeine, and when caffeine is taken in larger amounts it can impair cognitive abilities


• Blurred vision, nerve damage and liver toxicity can occur because these drinks contain very high amounts of B vitamins which is only needed in moderate amounts


• It can cause late miscarriages, stillbirth, and low birth-weight in pregnant women


• The high amount of sugar in energy drinks can cause excess weight gain, tooth decay and increases the risk of cardiovascular diseases


• It can increase your risk for diabetes because high amounts of caffeine reduces insulin sensitivity


• Palpitations, high blood pressure, convulsions and sometimes death can occur when these drinks are taken in excessive amounts

Energy drinks should never be combined with alcohol because they can have serious side effects on the body.

If you take energy drinks, you might want to begin to cut down on them. Energy drinks are also very dangerous for children and they should never be given.

Source: checkwithdoctoro

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Want to Build a Lasting & Happy Marriage? – Here are 10 Easy Steps (Must Read)

Happy marriages don’t happen by accident. They require consistent work, commitment and dedication of the people involved.

File photo

 

Couples who have happy marriages have worked to get to where they are today. You don’t need to envy them. You just need to know the things you have to do to make your marriage a happy one and apply them to your relationship.

 

These 10 happy marriage tips will contribute value to your efforts to build a lasting and happy marriage. Bear them in mind.

 

1. Build trust

Trust is the foundation of a happy marriage and it’s something you need to work at. Couples need to be determined not to flirt or get too close with members of the opposite $ex to avoid destroying trust in their relationships. Doing this might make one party begin to view someone else as an alternative when their marriage goes through a rough patch. Having an alternative will weaken your resolve to make your marriage work.

 

2. Respect your spouse

Listen to your spouse when he or she talks to you. Mutual respect is vital for a happy marriage. When you give your mate your undivided attention it shows that you respect them and value what they have to say. If your spouse talks to you when you’re in the middle of something important, explain that you want to hear what they have to say and suggest a time when you’ll be able to pay better attention.

 

3. Have fun together

Find thing that you enjoy doing together and then make time to do them. Exercise together, go on walks, or take on mutually enjoyable projects together. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as you both have fun doing it. Spending time together enjoying each other’s company will strengthen your marriage and add another meaningful dimension to your relationship.

 

4. Don’t forget to smile

A smile can do so much and requires so little effort. It has the power to lift someone’s spirits and it sets the stage for a pleasant reunion after a long and perhaps difficult day. If you want a happy marriage, lead with your smile and let that be the first impression you make when you relate with your partner.

 

5. Learn from the past

Figure out when to do, or not do, certain things. For example, if you find that you tend to be tense and cranky when you are hungry, minimize your conversation with your spouse during those times. Similarly, if you see that your spouse gets worked up whenever you mention the name of a certain person, don’t mention that person’s name unless absolutely necessary. Build a happy marriage by being smart enough to learn from the past.

 

6. Be polite to each other

When speaking with your partner, use phrases like please and thank you. Being polite should not be viewed as a formality. It is a way to honour your spouse. It helps them feel appreciated and respected too.

Being courteous is like the oil that helps a happy marriage run smoothly and reduces unnecessary friction. If you can be polite to a stranger, then it should be even more important to be polite to your marriage mate.

 

7. Don’t keep scores

Marriage is not a contest, so keeping scores only hurts your relationship in the long run. You should build side-by-side with your partner. So unless your spouse is a total slacker, recognize that in a happy marriage both partners try to help their mate carry the load.

 

8. Overlook small things

Trivial things destroy marriages. Wouldn’t it be ironic if a marriage was strong enough to stand up to all the big challenges, but couldn’t get past the minor irritations of daily life? Learn to view your partners little idiosyncrasies as entertaining rather than irritating. It works, so don’t sweat the small stuff. Overlook small things. Laugh over them and move on.

 

9. Respect your spouse’s privacy

Don’t go through your partner’s things out of curiosity or in an effort to check up on them. You know it feels offensive to have your privacy violated instead of respected. So, don’t do that to your spouse. Don’t let a sense of insecurity cause you to become overly suspicious of your mate.

On the other hand, being secretive can create suspicion. A happy marriage should be built on open and honest communication. So, if there is something you need to know, ask, don’t snoop. You should also be honest with your partner.

 

10. Don’t fight dirty

Couples who start fights with name-calling or personal criticisms are more likely to spiral out of control and are likely to be unhappy in their marriages than couples who have learned to fight neutrally. The most successful couples also know how to reduce their fights, either by asking for a break or using humour to defuse the tension.

 

Credits: The Sun

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Strategies To Follow To Get The Right Quantity And Quality Of Sleep

There are many hidden killers of quality sleep.  The 10 strategies that follow will help you identify these killers and clean up your sleep hygiene. Follow them, and you’ll reap the performance and health benefits that come with getting the right quantity and quality of sleep.

1. Stay Away from Sleeping Pills

When I say sleeping pills, I mean anything you take that sedates you so that you can sleep. Whether it’s alcohol, Nyquil, Benadryl, Valium, Ambien, or what have you, these substances greatly disrupt your brain’s natural sleep process. Have you ever noticed that sedatives can give you some really strange dreams? As you sleep and your brain removes harmful toxins, it cycles through an elaborate series of stages, at times shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams). Sedation interferes with these cycles, altering the brain’s natural process.

Anything that interferes with the brain’s natural sleep process has dire consequences for the quality of your sleep. Many of the strategies that follow eliminate factors that disrupt this recovery process. If getting off sleeping pills proves difficult, make certain you try some of the other strategies (such as cutting down on caffeine) that will make it easier for you to fall asleep naturally and reduce your dependence upon sedatives.

2. Stop Drinking Caffeine (at Least after Lunch)

You can sleep more and vastly improve the quality of the sleep you get by reducing your caffeine intake. Caffeine is a powerful stimulant that interferes with sleep by increasing adrenaline production and blocking sleep-inducing chemicals in the brain. Caffeine has a 6-hour half-life, which means it takes a full 24 hours to work its way out of your system. Have a cup of joe at 8 a.m., and you’ll still have 25% of the caffeine in your body at 8 p.m. Anything you drink after noon will still be near 50% strength at bedtime. Any caffeine in your bloodstream—the negative effects increasing with the dose—makes it harder to fall and stay asleep.

When you do finally fall asleep, the worst is yet to come. Caffeine disrupts the quality of your sleep by reducing rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, the deep sleep when your body recuperates most. When caffeine disrupts your sleep, you wake up the next day with a cognitive and emotional handicap. You’ll be naturally inclined to grab a cup of coffee or an energy drink to try to make yourself feel more alert, which very quickly creates a vicious cycle.

3. Avoid Blue Light at Night

This is a big one—most people don’t even realize it impacts their sleep. Short-wavelength blue light plays an important role in your mood, energy level, and sleep quality. In the morning, sunlight contains high concentrations of this “blue” light. When your eyes are exposed to it directly (not through a window or while wearing sunglasses), the blue light halts production of the sleep-inducing hormone melatonin and makes you feel more alert. This is great, and exposure to a.m. sunlight can improve your mood and energy levels. If the sun isn’t an option for you, try a blue light device.

In the afternoon, the sun’s rays lose their blue light, which allows your body to produce melatonin and start making you sleepy. By the evening, your brain does not expect any blue light exposure and is very sensitive to it. The problem this creates for sleep is that most of our favorite evening devices—laptops, tablets, televisions, and mobile phones—emit short-wavelength blue light. And in the case of your laptop, tablet, and phone, they do so brightly and right in your face. This exposure impairs melatonin production and interferes with your ability to fall asleep as well as with the quality of your sleep once you do nod off. Remember, the sleep cycle is a daylong process for your brain. When you confuse your brain by exposing it in the evening to what it thinks is a.m. sunlight, this derails the entire process with effects that linger long after you power down. The best thing you can do is avoid these devices after dinner (television is okay for most people as long as they sit far enough away from the set). If you must use one of these devices in the evening, you can limit your exposure with a filter or protective eye wear.

4. Wake Up at the Same Time Every Day

Consistency is key to a good night’s sleep, especially when it comes to waking up. Waking up at the same time every day improves your mood and sleep quality by regulating your circadian rhythm. When you have a consistent wake-up time, your brain acclimates to this and moves through the sleep cycle in preparation for you to feel rested and alert at your wake-up time. Roughly an hour before you wake, hormone levels increase gradually (along with your body temperature and blood pressure), causing you to become more alert. This is why you’ll often find yourself waking up right before your alarm goes off.

When you don’t wake up at the same time every day, your brain doesn’t know when to complete the sleep process and when it should prepare you to be awake. Long ago, sunlight ensured a consistent wake-up time. These days, an alarm is the only way most people can pull this off, and doing this successfully requires resisting the temptation to sleep in when you’re feeling tired because you know you’ll actually feel better by keeping your wake-up time in tact.

5. No Binge Sleeping (In) on the Weekend

Sleeping in on the weekend is a counterproductive way to catch up on your sleep. It messes with your circadian rhythm by giving you an inconsistent wake-up time. When you wake up at the same time during the work week but sleep past this time on the weekend, you end up feeling groggy and tired because your brain hasn’t prepared your body to be awake. This isn’t a big deal on your day off, but it makes you less productive on Monday because it throws your cycle off and makes it hard to get going again on your regular schedule.

6. Learn How Much Sleep You Really Need

The amount of sleep you need is something that you can’t control, and scientists are beginning to discover the genes that dictate it. The problem is, most people sleep much less than they really need and are under-performing because they think they’re getting enough. Some discover this the hard way. Ariana Huffington was one of those frantic types who underslept and overworked, until she collapsed unexpectedly from exhaustion one afternoon. She credits her success and well-being since then to the changes she’s made to her sleep habits. “I began getting 30 minutes more sleep a night, until gradually I got to 7 to 8 hours. The result has been transformational,” Huffington says, adding that, “all the science now demonstrates unequivocally that when we get enough sleep, everything is better: our health; our mental capacity and clarity; our joy at life; and our ability to live life without reacting to every bad thing that happens.”

Huffington isn’t the only one. Jeff Bezos, Warren Buffet, and Sheryl Sandberg have all touted the virtues of getting enough sleep. Even Bill Gates, an infamous night owl, has affirmed the benefits of figuring out how much sleep you really need: “I like to get 7 hours of sleep a night because that’s what I need to stay sharp and creative and upbeat.” It’s time to bite the bullet and start going to bed earlier until you find the magic number that enables you to perform at your best.

7. Stop Working

When you work in the evening, it puts you into a stimulated, alert state when you should be winding down and relaxing in preparation for sleep. Recent surveys show that roughly 60% of people monitor their smartphones for work emails until they go to sleep. Staying off blue light-emitting devices (discussed above) after a certain time each evening is also a great way to avoid working so you can relax and prepare for sleep, but any type of work before bed should be avoided if you want quality sleep.

8. Eliminate Interruptions

Unfortunately for those with small children, the quality of your sleep does suffer when it is interrupted. The key here is to eliminate all the interruptions that are under your control. If you have loud neighbors, wear earplugs to bed. If your mother likes to call at all hours of the night, make certain you silence your ringer before you go to bed. If you had to wake up extra early in the morning, make sure your alarm clock is back on its regular time when you go to bed. Don’t drink too much water in the evening to avoid a bathroom trip in the middle of the night. If your partner snores . . . well, you get the idea. If you think hard enough, there are lots of little things you can do to eliminate unnecessary interruptions to your sleep.

9. Learn to Meditate

Many people who learn to meditate report that it improves the quality of their sleep and that they can get the rest they need even if they aren’t able to significantly increase the number of hours they sleep. At the Stanford Medical Center, insomniacs participated in a 6-week mindfulness meditation and cognitive-behavi0ral therapy course. At the end of the study, particiP@nts’ average time to fall asleep was cut in half (from 40 to 20 minutes), and 60% of subjects no longer qualified as insomniacs. The subjects retained these gains upon follow-up a full year later. A similar study at the University of Massachusetts Medical School found that 91% of particiP@nts either reduced the amount of medication they needed to sleep or stopped taking medication entirely after a mindfulness and sleep therapy course. Give mindfulness a try. At minimum, you’ll fall asleep faster, as it will teach you how to relax and quiet your mind once you hit the pillow.

10. When All Else Fails: Take Naps

One of the biggest peaks in melatonin production happens during the 1:00 to 3:00 p.m. time frame, which explains why most people feel sleepy in the afternoon. Companies like Google and Zappos are capitalizing on this need by giving employees the opportunity to take short afternoon naps. If you aren’t getting enough sleep at night, you’re likely going to feel an overwhelming desire to sleep in the afternoon. When this happens, you’re better off taking a short nap (even as short as 15 minutes) than resorting to caffeine to keep you awake. A short nap will give you the rest you need to get through the rest of the afternoon, and you’ll sleep much better in the evening than if you drink caffeine or take a long afternoon nap.

Bringing It All Together

I know many of you reading this piece are thinking something along the lines of “but I know a guy (or gal) who is always up at all hours of the night working or socializing, and he’s the number one performer at our branch.” My answer for you is simple: this guy is underperforming. We all have innate abilities that we must maximize to reach our full potential. My job is to help people do that—to help the good become great by removing unseen performance barriers. Being number one in your branch is an accomplishment, but I guarantee that this guy has his sights set on bigger things that he isn’t achieving because sleep deprivation has him performing at a fraction of his full potential. You should send him this article. It just might shake something loose.

After all, the only thing worth catching up on at night is your sleep.

Source: Huffingtonpost

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